February 2013 Resolutions
I have been using Gretchen Rubin's monthly resolution system to create and track behaviors that I hope will increase my overall happiness.
My resolutions for February are focused on relationships with my spouse, family, and friends. In the first area, I have used ideas from Rubin’s 21 Day Relationship Challenge to inspire two goals for improving my and Jason’s relationship. I should add that Jason and I have an amazing marriage and we already practice many of the tips that Rubin gives in her series. But every relationship has some room for improvement, and these are just tools to make our partnership even stronger.
The first goal I have is to give an affectionate greeting to Jason in the morning, at night, and when arriving at home. Too often, my first words in the morning or when I greet him coming home are not kind and affectionate. I can be very harsh and direct, especially with those close to me. This resolution is a combination of two of Rubin's suggestions: kiss in the morning, kiss at night and Give warm greetings and farewells. The second goal is to make the positive argument. Rubin calls this arguing the opposite side. Whenever I find myself thinking that Jason always leaves the dishes in the sink, for example, I can instead think about all of the times he did not leave the dishes and in fact did all the dishes and cleaned the kitchen. Soon, I’m thinking of all the things he does that I appreciate instead of the thing that was annoying me. These are two goals that I intend to practice daily to improve my marriage.
The second two resolutions are in the area of family and friends. My parents retired to Santa Cruz this year, and we live in the same town for the first time in 17 years. This year I resolved to see my parents at least once a week while working (it’s a lot easier to get together when I’m on vacation, so that isn't really an issue). In order to accomplish this goal, I have set up a family hiking group for my family and friends to go on monthly outings. I have scheduled the first one in a few weeks, and am very excited to see how the first adventure goes! Although this plan is not for me to see my parents weekly as I would like, I feel like it is a step in the right direction and that other plans will naturally unfold from there.
As far spending time with friends, keeping up with my book club is an important part of connecting with my girlfriends. Just this week, however, my friend Erin and I have set up a weekly running date which I am very excited about. I have wanted to get back into running regularly and also spend more time with friends, and this is a perfect opportunity to do both! Thanks Erin!
As you can see, this month my resolutions are set up a bit differently. In January, I had four specific things I wanted to be sure and do each day in order to take better care of myself and focus my energy for future goals. This month, I have two goals that I can practice daily with my spouse, and two goals that I hope to accomplish weekly my socializing with loved ones. I think these perfectly fit February’s themes of love and appreciation.