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Friday, January 18, 2013

Like Your Life Depends On It

Hello blog readers.  If you have been following me over the years, you may know that I have tried several times to launch a blog and stick with it.  I have tried different formats, different content and writing/publishing daily, weekly, or monthly.

I have come to realize that blogging is difficult for me.  Yet, I enjoy it and find it rewarding.

I also have a secret wish.  I guess it is not so secret since I'm about to publish it in the most public domain available.  I want to be a writer.  Like, a published poet-novelist-book-tour kind of writer.  I want to quit my day job and write for a living.  I want to wear a tweed jacket a smoke a pipe.

OK, scratch that last part.  But there is one major impediment that keeps me from actually realizing my life dream: fear.

I am afraid I'm not good enough.  Afraid I will pour my heart into failure.  Afraid that I do not have the skills, connections, or whatever you want to put in that "I don't have it" box in my brain.  At some point in my life, instead of saying, "I can do it if I want to", my interior monologue instead switched to, "You can't because you're not good enough".

Over the past decade, I have been consciously working on my overall happiness, health, and well-being.  This has led to many lifestyle changes, a great deal of which I have documented in this and other blogs.  I am at the point now where I realize that the only thing that has been keeping me from writing the next great American novel is ME.  I am the only one telling myself that I can't do it.  And I am wrong.

So, in an effort to move myself toward that goal of writing and publishing, I have mashed two of my blogs together into this one, my oldest and most established site.  Most people come here for either the review of Morro Strand campground or the review of the novel "Swallowing Stones".  Nonetheless, these visitors comprise an audience toward whom I can direct my writing.  From here on out, this is it.  Santa Cruz Stasi will be my only blog and the place where I direct my writing energy and focus.

To be a writer, you have to write.  A lot.  Like an athlete, you have to have training and discipline.  Good writing does not spring holistically from brilliant minds.  It is a craft that has to be revised, honed and perfected like any other.  Fortunately, I know I have the raw talent.  Now it is time to remove the self-imposed barriers to success, and write like I know I am able.  I am determined to push through the fear and doubt and at least begin to create the kind of writing that I hope to someday publish.  Please, won't you join me for the ride?

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